


Touch where it hurts

by IsThatHarry



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Drug Use
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-12
Updated: 2016-07-09
Packaged: 2018-06-07 14:47:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 9,744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6809764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IsThatHarry/pseuds/IsThatHarry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>'it's not that hard' he says 'just let it go'</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. T O U C H,  W H E R E  I T  H U R T S

**Author's Note:**

> AN// Heads up, scully isn't in the first chapter, sorry xx

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So basically I made a lil playlist whilst I was writing and its p chill, so I thought I'd add it in, enjoy.

_playlist;_

 

_Kiss me through the phone // soulja boy_

_Gasoline // Halsey_

_A little death // The neighbourhood_

_We don't have to dance // Andy black_

_New Bohemia // Transviolet_

_The good the bad and the dirty // Panic at the disco_

_The hills // The weeknd_

_Best I ever had //_

_Drake I'll be good //_

_Jaymes Young_

_Colors // Halsey_


	2. C H A P T E R  O N E

_Home Sweet Home,_

 

_Fox Mulder looked around the room that he would now call home for the next few years of his life. It was, what can quite frankly only be described as a mess, the walls were plastered with mismatched pieces of wallpaper, torn, painted over, you name it. In some areas the bare plaster of the walls could be seen. The floor uncarpeted, just the bare wood showing. He was satisfied, no one else probably would be._

_He kicked a poster idly across the room, it unravelling as he did so. When the print lay flat it revealed a flying saucer and the words 'I WANT TO BELIEVE'. He removed a New York Knicks cap from his head, wiping away a bead of sweat from his forehead as he did so._

_So this was home now. Cool, he thought to himself._

_'You don't have a bed' his mother stated, great observational skills he thought._

_'Nope' he replied, she frowned._

_'Fox, you need a bed, you need to sleep, especially while your studying' bless her, he thought, she was only doing her job, looking out for him while she still could. The thought of her son being half way across the world was killing Teena Mulder. Her heart was silently breaking, but she couldn't tell him that, no that would be selfish. The boy smiled and gripped his mother's shoulder,_

_'That's what the couch is for ma' she smiled weakly._

_At that moment Mulder's father entered the room, he looked around, a look of dissatisfaction on his face._

_'This place needs sorting right away Fox' He turned to his father, his arm now hung around his mother's shoulder._

_'Yeah, yeah sure' William Mulder frowned._

 

☾

 

_With the help of his parents, Mulder spent a while organising the room. He decided to push the desk up against the window, and to positon the cheap old sofa he had found against the wall on the right of the room, between the door and window. Other than that the only furniture he really had was a chest of draws, which he positioned on the opposite side of the room adjacent to the sofa, and a bookshelf he placed beside the draws, containing some textbooks, notebooks and a few other random works of fiction he'd picked up here and there._

_The only personal belongings he had being a record player along with a few of his favourite records, and a worn out basketball. He pinned the UFO poster on the wall beside the window._

_Standing back, he was satisfied, his parents were not._

_After a few hours of organising his new 'home', his parents left to have dinner, with promises they would be sure to swing by and say before their goodbyes before their flight tomorrow. Promises Mulder didn't hold onto with too much hope._

_He decided to go and get some fresh air. He left, slamming the door behind him._

_Mulder's room was in a five story building that was basically a block of flats, specifically to accommodate students. The particular building Mulder was staying in, was one in a group of four buildings, each surrounding a small grassy area. The buildings weren't old, but they weren't new either. There was a character to them that Mulder liked._

_There was a row of shops nearby, within only a two or three-minute walk. Mulder was sure he had spotted a little coffee shop amongst them, and decided to try there for something to drink. As he strolled towards the shops, he was sure to carefully observe his surroundings, take everything in, familiarise himself. Everything was so different and new._

_Would he miss America? Probably, he thought to himself, it was his home, how could he not? But, still he was excited for this new chapter of his life, in England._

_He reached the row of shops and made his way along them to the coffee shop. It was a small modern place, named 'ye Ol' coffee shop'. Mulder smirked at the irony, and pushed on the wooden door. The strong smell of coffee found its way into his nostrils and mouth as he walked inside. There were a couple of people dotted here and there, but it wasn't overly busy, not surprising for a Friday afternoon. The shop inside had a minimalist look; white walls, a couple of photographs of the city's main landmarks dotted around the walls, wooden tables and chairs. Simplistic, cute he thought._

_Mulder made his way to the counter on the other side of the shop. A youngish girl, about the same age as himself was leaning on the counter top, flicking through a magazine. She was pretty he noted, she had dark wavy hair, shoulder length. She straightened up as Mulder reached the counter._

_'Hey, what can I get you' she smiled, there was an accent to her voice, one he wasn't familiar with yet, but he could tell she wasn't local. She had big brown friendly eyes._

_'Hi' He smiled back, he scanned the menu 'Just a regular coffee thanks'_

_She nodded, 'No problem' stepping back, she began preparing the coffee, 'the accent, you're American right?' she asked raising an eyebrow questioningly._

_'Yep'_

_'That's cool, where 'bouts?' 'Massachusetts' He said 'a place called Martha's Vineyard' and just like that very suddenly he missed home incredibly, overwhelmingly. He missed hunting in the woods with his dad, he missed his mother's cooking, and most of all he felt so far away from his sister._

_'That'll be two pound thirty, please' she said handing him the coffee. He fished some change out of his pocket. Reminding himself that he really needed to change some money over as soon as possible._

_'Thanks' the girl smiled again, as he handed her the change._

_'You're welcome...' he smiled, leaving it open, gesturing for her to give her name._

_'Kitt' She extended her hand, 'and you?'_

_'I'm Fox' he said_

_'What? Really?' She was clearly stifling a laugh._

_'Yeah, I know' 'Okay, bye then,,, Fox.' She smirked and Mulder chuckled._

_He left with a wave._


	3. C H A P T E R  T W O

_Two pound thirty,_

 

_It's a cold morning, not surprising in England. Dana Scully pulls her parka tighter in attempt to salvage some warmth._

_The sky is grey and it looks like rain is coming. If only she hadn't missed that stupid bus, Dana curses herself. Her pace is quick, she doesn't want to be outside any longer than necessary._

_She can see the shop in her line of sight now. Thirty yards._

_Twenty yards,,,_

_Ten,,,_

_Five,,,_

_And finally, she fishes in her pockets for the keys. For a moment she is struck with fear, she cannot feel them and,,, /please god let me not of forgotten them/, she pleads,,,_

_She finds them a couple of seconds later, awkwardly slotting the key into the key hole, her hands are shaking, this would not be so hard, if it were not so goddamn cold._

 

☾

 

_Scully can feel her eyes rolling back in her head,,, she cannot believe it is this slow for a Saturday morning. There are a few people dotted around the cafe, here and there, but they've all been served, sitting happy with their drinks now._

_She sighs,_

_As if on que she hears that familiar chime. The chime that comes from the bell above the door when it opens, that means a customer, that means thank god, something to do. She straightens up._

_There's a tall boy walking over to the counter, he's skinny, unkempt brown hair peeking out from beneath a black cap. Hands in his pockets, ripped jeans._

_'Good morning' she chirps, that customer service smile on her face, 'what can I get you?'_

_The boy smiles, it's a friendly smile, it's such an infectious smile that Scully replaces her work smile with her own smile._

_'Just a regular coffee, thanks' His voice is gravelly, but warm, it's deep, a soft whisper, the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end. He has small hazel eyes, his nose the prominent feature of his, quite frankly, handsome face. She now notices the print on his cap, there's a small grey alien face, she smiles again._

_'Coming right up'_

_'Hey' He says, and she turns to him and eyebrow raised, 'Is Kitt working today?'_

_This is quite a common thing, boys always ask for Kitt, not that they don't ask for Scully too, but they always ask for Kitt,_

_'She works everyday but Saturday and Sunday' She tells him,_

_He nods, bites a lip thoughtfully._

_'I'll happily tell her you asked for her though?' She means this as a question,_

_'Uhh, yeah, that would be great thanks, the names Fox' If she were a puppy dog her head surely would have tilted to the side, because what kind of name was fucking /fox/?_

_'Sure thing, fox' She says as she hands him the coffee 'That'll be,,,'_

_'Two pound thirty' he cuts off_

_'Exactly' she smiles and he hands her the change. His finger tips are so soft as they brush her skin._

 

☾

 

_'Honey, I'm home' Scully shouts mockingly as she steps through the door to her shared flat. Kitt steps into the hallway from the kitchen, she's in sweatpants, hair tied up in a messy bun, a huge bowl of cereal in her hand._

_'Dana' she manages, with a mouthful. Scully smiles. 'How was work?'_

_'Oh god it was so slow today' suddenly she remembers the boy, 'oh and this boy was asking for you, I told him I'd tell you'_

_The other girl raises an eyebrow, intrigued, 'He said his name was,,, ' she thinks for a minute,,, 'fox?' How could you have forgotten a name as ridiculous as Fox._

_Her face lights up in recognition, 'ahh yeah, he came in yesterday, American right?'_

_'Yeah, yeah' Scully confirms._

_'Nah' Kitt shakes her head, Scully raises an eyebrow, 'Not my type'_

_'Really?' Dana asks, confused, personally she thinks Fox Mulder is a fine piece of ass._

_'Why? Do you think he's cute?' Dana can feel the red rushing to her cheeks as she attempts to hide a blush._

_'Definitely not' she attempts to lie, it's pathetic really._

_'Oh my god, yes you do, Dana don't lie' Kitt shouts, shovelling another spoonful of cereal into her mouth. And then it is like a light goes on inside her head and she cuts herself off. 'I have something to tell you, okay?'_

_'Okay' It amazed Scully how quickly her friends mind can change tracks._

_'So I sold some prints today' Kitt says sheepishly, a smile crawls onto her face._

_'What?' Scully's voice is a loud mix of excitement and surprise._

_'Yeah, so I'm on my stall right? As usual, and this guy, real business type, suit and everything, comes over right?'_

_'Right' Scully says, allowing her to continue._

_'So he sees my prints, and he's like, are these your photos? So I'm like yeah, because they are, and he says that his sisters having a wedding and she's looking for a photographer, so I give him my shitty business card right?' Scully nods, ' and he's like, I'll take those two, so I'm like dude' she drags out the /e/ 'you can show her the stuff on my website, but he insists, he really wants these prints, so I sell him the prints'_

_'Kitt' Dana says, beaming for her friend 'that's amazing'_

_'I know right?' The other girl is smiling, pride written all over her face_

_'We have to celebrate' Scully announces,_

_'Dude, yes'_


	4. C H A P T E R  T H R E E

_I don't know what I'm doing,_

 

_When she said "celebrate" Dana scully did not mean, /go to a club and get wasted/. Dana Scully meant, /order in a pizza and watch some movies/. Yet here she was on a Saturday night, in a club, drinking idly from a straw as her wayward friend on the dance-floor with a group of strangers. This was definitely not Scully's /scene/._

_'Lighten up Danes' Kitt had said, a failed attempt to pull her on the dance floor._

_But Scully was set in her ways. That's just how she was. She knew she was a goody two shoes, she knew she was a bit of a bore, she held herself back an awful lot. She, as some people would say, needed to let her hair down, she knew all of this. God sometimes she fucking despised it, but she was just that way, it's all she knew, how she was most comfortable. She was /that/ stereotypical catholic girl, raised in an extremely religious household, not that her parents were the crazy type, they just expected a certain behaviour from her. She respected that. She went to a catholic college, all girls, tartan skirts, white socks, you name it, the lot._

_And that's exactly why this was torture to Scully, this was a complete other world to hers, the one she was used to, the one she knew. She was out of her comfort zone entirely. Neck deep in unfamiliar waters. She didn't know how to socialise like in these situations, like Kitt. She didn't know how to interact with boys, like Kitt._

_Not that she hadn't had a boyfriend before, she had, kind of. There was a boy she had attended church with since before she could remember, his dad worked with Scully's. They went to Sunday school together. Jack was his name. Once he had kissed her in the confession booth, 'this is technically a sin' he had whispered in her ear, before planting his lips on hers. She was 15 at the time. To this day she couldn't believe she had done something like that in the house of God. /if her mother knew/._

_So she sat there, the goody two shoes she was, watching her friend have fun, drinking her water._

_A boy approached her._

☾

 

_In reality, Fox Mulder hated clubs. He didn't see the appeal at all,,, But clubs had girls and so there he was, his first Saturday night in England, freshers week in full swing. A girl dancing on him, grinding her hips against his, his hand on her arse, her breath on his._

_'Do you want a drink' he shouted above the noise._

_'What' the blonde, who's name he hadn't gotten, shouted back._

_'Do you,,,' he said speaking slow and loud ',,,want a drink' he made a drinking motion with his hand._

_'Sure' she said, with a fake smile. He smiled back._

_Crossing the dance floor, a girl backed into him. She turned to face him._

_'Oh hey, sorry' he recognised her, he couldn't place it in his half drunken state._

_'Fox!' She shouted, ecstatic._

_'Kitt' He remembered the pretty girl from the coffee shop vividly now. 'Sorry' he frowned, 'I promised this girl a drink'_

_'No problem' She laughed deeply, as a tall, muscle bearing boy gripped her waist and began to dance with her. She smiled, waving as she danced off. 'See ya' round Fox'_

_He laughed, waving in return._

_Once at the bar, Mulder signalled the bartender over,_

_'Two vodka and orange's please' He asked and the bartender nodded, off to prepare the drinks right alway. He could feel the vibrations of the music in his feet._

_All of a sudden he felt something slam into his back,_

_'What do you want this time' he laughed turning on his heels, expecting to see Kitt again. Instead he was greeted by her friend, the other girl from the coffee shop. He could swear she way crying._

_'Sorry'_

_She was crying._

_She pushed passed him, rushing off towards the entrance of the club. Mulder grabbed her arm._

_'Hey' His voice was soft, he'd be surprised she even heard it amongst this volume._

_'Get off me' She shouted. He let his grip slip, dropped her arm. She continued towards then entrance._

_Unbeknownst to him, with absolute no idea why, because honestly he wouldn't usually give a damn about this type of thing, about some random girl in a club, he found himself following her._

☾

 

_He found her outside, on the side of the street, sat on the curb with her head in her hands. She looked so small. So lonely._

_His head buzzed now, from the alcohol in his blood. The fresh air had really hit him. He stumbled towards her._

_Her hair was like fire in this light. As vibrant as the city lights. He made sure his approach to her was slow, he took caution. She was clearly fragile._

_'Coffee shop girl?' He said, lightness in his tone. /be easy Fox/ he told himself._

_Cars buzzed by them, people laughed. Drunken friends. A typical night in the city._

_She looked up, wiped a tear with her small hand, she patted her lips, 'What?' Her voice was so little. Barely a whisper against the busy sounds of the city._

_'What's up?'_

_'Why do you care?' She asked, genuinely. Her eyes following him, as he lowered himself to take a seat on the curb beside her._

_'Because,' he started, 'when little girls rush out of nightclubs with tears in their eyes,,, ' he sighed deeply 'well usually it's become of some shitty boy'_

_Scully wiped another tear, 'You would know that because?'_

_'Because,,,' his voice was smooth and tender, he seemed regretful 'I've been that shitty boy on one or two occasions' He said looking down at the gravel, kicking a stone with with his shoe._

_'Look thanks, but I want to go home,,, I shouldn't have come out in the first place'_

_'Not your territory huh?' He smirked._

_She stood up, patting down her dress with both hands._

_'I'm going home'_

_'Lets get something to eat' He reached for her hand._

_'I said,,,' through gritted teeth 'I'm going home' her eyes said she meant it._

_And so he watched her walk away._


	5. C H A P T E R  F O U R;

_Who are you,_

 

_It has been a week since the incident at the club. Scully still couldn't believe it._

_One minute she is watching Kitt dance with this boy, she's drinking a drink, minding her own business, trying to let go and have a good time and then this boy walks over to her;_

_He's blonde, his hair is stuck up in a quiff. Handsome, conventionally. His green eyes blend with the blue and purple lights of the club. She smiles at him._

_'You wanna dance?' He asks, nice enough. She nods /why not?'/, gets up from the bar stool._

_They dance, it's innocent enough. His hands move down her body to her lower back. She doesn't like it, but she doesn't react, brushed it off, /it's harmless/ she says, this is just how people dance._

_Then she's up against the wall. His hand is u_ p _her dress. His lips are on her lips. God the taste of alcohol on his breathe makes her want to vomit. She pushes back. He's stronger. She manages to struggle free of him. She rushes off._

_The shop is busy today, how Saturday's should be. She wishes for the week before. There is a fairly big queue, she's serving quick enough. She's good at her job. One by one, person by person the queue gets smaller, until finally everyone is served. Almost all the seats in the cafe are full. She stands back, breathes for a moment_.

_The familiar bell chimes above the door. /for god sake/ she curses. She looks towards the door. She recognises the familiar figure. It's him. Fox. She smiles. He doesn't notice, or if he does he doesn't smile back. That makes_   _her frown. There's a pretty girl on his arm. She's laughing at some silly joke he's made. He's at the counter now._

_'A regular coffee and,,,' his demeanour is completely different from the two other times she's met him. He seems a completely different person to the boy who came in a week ago, the boy with the alien baseball cap on his head. He's not the same guy that ran out of a club to check on her._

_He seems,,, arrogant._

_'What do you want babe?' His words don't sound right._

_'Same' The girl on his arm says._

_Scully hands them both their drinks._

_'That'll be four pound sixty she says' He hands her a five pound note. She hesitates a moment, then hands him the change, 'And thank you for last weekend' she says sheepishly._

_The girl shoots her a dirty look. He looks straight through her. He has no idea what she's on about._

This isn't the same boy.

_Dana doesn't know why but she's watching them. Staring, intently. She can't move past this difference._

_Sure he looks the same, he sounds the same. But he is not the same. She had pinned him as a nice guy, but he had looked at her like had never seen her before. Was it that easy to forget? She sighs, why does she care?_

_She snaps her head. Tells herself to get over this. She doesn't know him. He owes her nothing. She's met him twice, she reminds herself. It's nothing._

 

☾

 

_This girl is hot. Is what fox mulder decides. She's been hanging out with him all week. They met in one of his psychology lectures. She moves a strand of long brown hair out of her eyes, they are a light brown, beautiful. She's telling him about something or other. He doesn't know. He's not sure he cares. He isn't really listening._

_'Fox' she says and he is back in the room._

_'Yes sweetie'  it is so fake. 'Are you listening'_

_'Always darling'_

_She smiles, 'good'_

_They get up to leave. She's invited him back to her place. He feels a familiar excitement in his veins, he knows what it means. He grabs the door for her, one must always play the gentlemen._

_He's handsome, he knows that. He has a pretty face, soft. Kind eyes. His jaw is well defined, he's tall, skinny, but the muscle is there. He uses his looks as an advantage. He's never had a problem getting the girls, his friends back home were always jealous of that._

_His mother used to tell him that there was more to life than girls. Diana used to tell him he was more than his looks. He thinks of her often. He misses her sometimes._

_They walk down the street together, fingers interlaced, /whatever she wishes/ he thinks._

 

☾

 

_Later, Mulder is leaving the pretty girls flat. He leaves with a kiss on her cheek and nothing more. He's had fun. He's not sure he'll see her again._

_He rushes down the steps. He can here someone coming up them. Red hair comes into view. He's seen that hair before. /coffee shop girl/_

_She's about six steps below him now. Surely she must have seen him._

_He shouts, 'Coffee shop girl' yet she doesn't look up._

_She's five steps from him now._

_Four_

_Three_

_Two_

_She's there. Tries to dodge past him. He waves a hand in front of her face._

_'I know you can see me' he laughs._

_'That's funny' she says, and he doesn't get the joke. He cox an eyebrow. They're both stationary on their individual steps. 'You can't just act like you don't know someone and then talk to them when you fancy, you know?' She says._

_She's talking about this morning, in her coffee shop. He frowns, furrowed brows._

_'Well to be fair I don't know you' he try's to play it off as funny, her face says she's not having it._

_She can't believe this. He is ignorant._

_'You're right' she says, 'I don't know you' they are both silent for a minute. 'And If you excuse me, I would like to get past so I can go home' he doesn't move. This makes her even angrier. 'Look can you just move' this time he does. He mouths /sorry/._

_She walks past him, not another word._

_'See ya' he calls after her, she doesn't call back._


	6. C H A P T E R  F I V E;

_Hangovers suck,_

 

_Fox Mulder had a headache. Sitting right in the centre of his temple. It rang through his ears and his head, he felt like someone was playing heavy metal in his brain. He really really needed to stop drinking on nights before lectures and classes. Hangovers are not fun, he decides._

_'What do you think Mr. Mulder?' The teacher asked, pushing his glasses up his nose, standing at the front of the class, balding and round._

_'Huh?' He replied, before realising what he had actually said. His head it throbbing so bad. He just wants to go home._

_'Just as I thought' he smirked sarcastically. Mulder scowled._

_He looked down at the leather wrist watch strapped to his wrist. Twenty minutes left of class and he could go back to his dorm and sleep. Be quick, he begged internally._

_The minutes pass, it feels so slow, like eternity, his head still aching, Mulder paying less and less attention as they do, and finally,_

_'You can all go, remember your essays are due to be submitted tomorrow night'_

_/yeah, yeah/ Mulder thought. The looks on his classmates faces said they felt the same._

_Upon leaving class one of his classmates comes up to him, patting him on the shoulder._

_'Fox, right' He smiles a friendly smile. He's a lot smaller than Mulder, a lot smaller, he's plump with signs of early male pattern baldness, round glasses sit on the bridge of his nose._

_'Uhh, yeah' he says._

_'There's a party at my place tonight, for Psych students, wondering if you're interested?'_

_Mulder ponders for a moment. The headache says no, his sore throat says please no. 'Sure' he shrugs, 'why not?' /goddamnit/_

_'Awesome' the short boy hands him a scrap of paper._

_'This is the address, I guess we'll see you then' Mulder nods._

 

☾

 

_He sits down on one of the couches at the back of the cafe. This has become his spot since moving here, since he started his classes. Kitt had smiled at him as he walked in, given a friendly wave. They'd gotten in the routine of her bringing his usual over, him handing her two pound thirty._

_He opened his laptop, staring solemnly at the blank screen. /this essay isn't gonna write itself/. He had decided in between leaving the classroom and the doors of the university building, that perhaps this essay is more important than sleeping and he should probably get it done for the sake of grades. He could already imagine the lecture he would receive from his father if he failed. It would of course come down to the money, not his future._

_'I did not pay thousands of dollars worth of tuition for you to fail Fox.'_

_He's the only one here._

_'Kitt' he shouts, to the girl at the counter._

_'Mhm' she replies._

_'Where's the redhead?'_

_'She only works weekends, she has college through the week. He nods, /fair enough/_

_The screen remains completely blank for a while, his mind is empty, he cannot concentrate, finally he begins to type. After a while he gets bored. Promises himself he'll finish tomorrow. He checks his email. There's one from Diana._

 

☒

 

**To; Fox W. Mulder;**

\- alienboi@hotmail.com

**From; Diana Fowley;**

\- DianaFowley@hotmail.com

 

**Subject; Hi! Stranger;**

**Message;**

**\- Fox, how are you? I saw your mom at the supermarket the other day.**

**She tells me you actually did it, you actually moved to England. I hope those Brits treat you kindly.**

**Is it really different? You're gonna do great over there.**

**I miss you sometimes you know? X**

 

**P.S // You left your Nicks jersey at mine.**

 

☒

 

_He reads the email twice over, word by word, how dare she act so normal, the kiss makes him feel sick, his stomach turns over, and then he presses the delete button. /you can keep the jersey/ he thinks to himself._

_He returns to his essay. He needs to rid the message from his mind. It's time to move on._

_He's had three cups of coffee since he got here. He needs it._

_After a while he checks his watch again, he's been here just over three hours. It's six p.m and he reasons with himself that's a suitable time for him to go home and eat, shower and get ready for the party later, the scarp of paper tells him it starts at nine thirty._

 

☾

 

_Back in his dorm, Mulder opens the fridge, it's practically empty, he knows he should have gotten something while he was out._

_'For fuck sake' he curses aloud. This is not his day._

_So he instead he just sits for a while, channel surfing, there's nothing on, he's still finding his way around English television. It's all so strange to him._

_For half an hour, to his complete surprise, Mulder finds himself fully immersed in a tv show called /hollyoaks/. It's over before he knows it and he has absolutely no idea why he just spent half an hour of his time watching whatever it was he had just watched. He shrugs._

_The clock on the wall tells him it's seven thirty now. He decides to shower and change before leaving for the party. His headaches finally subsided too, he thanks god for small mercies. Although really he knows it will only be replaced in a few hours time._

_So he showers and shaves, puts on some clean clothes, before heading out the door._

_How bad can it be?_


	7. C H A P T E R  S I X;

_It isn't a party until someone has a fight,_

 

_Leaving things at the cafe and having to come back for them is a habit that Dana Scully had fallen into over the six months she had worked at 'ye old cafe'. A habit which she wished that she could break._

_'Kitt' she rushed in exhausted after a day of college, 'did I leave my,,,'_

_She is cut off by Kitt who hands her a notebook marked /biology/_

_'Thanks' Scully is panting, still catching her breath, 'hey can I get a coffee whilst I'm here'_

_'Yeah yeah, no problem, won't be a minute' Kitt says, turning to make the drink as requested. 'Hey, Fox was in here looking for you earlier'_

_'Oh'_

_Kitt can tell something is off with her friend, 'what's wrong? I thought you had a little crush on him, especially with last saturday'_

_'So did I, but he came in here Saturday again, with this girl and I thanked him for everything but he just looked at me like he'd never met me, I don't know, you know usually I wouldn't be bothered but I had him wrong I guess' Scully shrugs, attempting to hide her sadness, trying to appear unmoved, and not at all phased by the situation._

_'Fuck boi!' The other girl shouts, this makes Scully laugh and Kitt smiles, satisfied that her work is done. 'Hey I got invited to this party tonight, want me to get you in, the guys so smitten with me he'll probably let me bring you'_

_Scully thinks for a moment, on the one hand, the previous Saturday night had been a complete disaster and had put her off socialising for life, but on the other hand she really wanted to start getting out there. So despite her better judgement,,,_

_'Sure okay'_

_'I won't leave you this time, I promise' Kitt says, Dana can sense her friend feels guilty for what happened._

_'I trust you' she smiles._

 

☾

 

_Mulder has always found it fairly essay to socialise, he's glad for that fact, It made these house parties a lot easier._

_The parties good, he's drank lots and danced with a few people. He's having fun. He's even witnessed a few guys jumping into a paddling pool in the back garden, he was asked if he wanted ago but he laughs and says he'll have to decline this time._

_'Fox' it's the boy from earlier, who invited him to the party._

_'Hey' he doesn't know his name. /shit/_

_'This is sara she wanted to meet you' there's a pretty redhead with him. She waves._

_Mulder recognises her from somewhere, he's seen her around a couple of times. 'Hey'_

_'I'll leave you kids to talk then' The boy from earlier says, and Mulder is sure he feels a little bit of his soul die because honestly that's probably the most embarrassing thing he's ever heard in his life._

_And so he drinks and he talks to this girl and she's interesting, and for once he's actually listening to what she's got to say, and he's enjoying himself._

_'So what made you come here?' She asks_

_'Because I wanted something new, I guess, because this uni was a great opportunity for me I guess'_

_'And do you miss home?' She questions_

_'I suppose so, I mean I'm half way across the world from my family and my childhood friends, so I guess' he shrugs playing it off, he doesn't really want to talk about home._

_And so she goes on asking him questions, and he answers with as much enthusiasm as he can fein._

_'Wait' Mulder stops mid conversation, 'are you trying to play psychologist with me?'_

_'No'_

_'You are'_

_'Look, Fox, it's nothing, I'm just in my third year and I'm doing a project on people leaving home and well you moved across the world so you must be running from something' She says, he cant believe she doesn't understand how pissed he is with this. 'Look it's been nice talking to you, but I'm going now'_

_'Fox,,,' she tries to stop him_

_'Bye Sara'_

 

_Mulder decides to go outside, he needs the fresh air, needs to breathe for a moment, the music is too loud and he needs a break from all the people. The nights air is so refreshing on his skin and the breeze cools him instantly. He starts to feel better._

_'It's not nice is it' a voice come from besides him. He turns to see the redhead girl from the coffee shop. How on earth do they keep on bumping into each other, he questions internally._

_'What's not nice?' He raises an eyebrow._

_'Being treated like an idiot, used for something' she says._

_'Look I'm not as much of a dick as your making me out to be, you know?'_

_'I'm sure you're a lovely guy' she says sarcastically._

_'What is your problem honestly?' He spits_

_. 'I don't have a problem' Scully replies_

_'Obviously you do, why do you care so much about what happened? I'm sorry I ignored you, okay?'_

_'Don't flatter yourself, honestly'_

_And with that she walks off, back inside to the party. Whilst Mulder stands reflecting on the situation. He feels angry, but not with her, he felt bad, he felt bad that he had ignored her when she had only tried to be friendly, been purposely cold. But it is what it is, he reasoned and then he decided to go back inside and enjoy the party._

 

☾

 

_'It's fun honestly'_

_'I don't know' Mulder says hesitantly. He's done stuff before, he's always done soft-core drugs, that's just what high schoolers do, right? But he's never done anything like this before, he's never considered doing anything like this before. He thinks for a moment. It feels like all eyes on him._

_'C'mom Mulder, it's no harm honestly' One boy says and again he thinks for a second._

_'Sure, go on then' He says finally and there's a cheer for him._

_One of the boys hands him something, it's three small white pills 'just swallow it he says'_

_and Mulder nods, Because how hard can it be? How bad can it be?_

_The rest of that night is a dazed blur to him, the party flies by. He is giddy and hyper and he is not fully aware of his surroundings._

_He passes the girl from the coffee shop, the feisty redhead and Kitt, a few times, but other than that, nothing is making sense, are his feet even on the ground?_

_'This music is so loud' he says_

_'There is no music Fox?' someone corrects him. He's sure there is._

_Everything is a hazy blur, the rest of the party passes by and he thinks he's having fun, he thinks this is a good time._

_How bad can it be?_


	8. C H A P T E R  S E V E N

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry I vanished I had an existential crisis

_Is this the high or is it the low,_

 

_He lays on his couch. He's on his back, staring up at the cracked ceiling. He's practically naked, in nothing but his boxer shorts. He's sweating. The walls are moving. He's soaking wet. He feels like he can't breathe. His chest feels so heavy._

_The come down is hard. He's afraid. He's never felt like this in his life. The room is shaking, or is that just him? He's been high before, he's had come downs before but nothing was like this. /what the fuck did I take?/_

_He attempts to sit up, at least he thinks he does. Instead he just lies there, completely still, in the centre of the couch, stretched out, arms and legs dangling over the edge. The only thing he can hear is the rise and fall of his chest. His heart is beating so fast. Is he going to die?_

_He doesn't recall how he got here. How he ended up back home in his dorm, lay on his own sofa. He's afraid. He would try to call out for help but he's not sure anyone would hear, he's not one hundred percent sure he can._

_His mind flashes back, he remembers the boy handing him the three pills. He remembers swallowing them, throwing them back with the help of a beer._

_If he lays here, just stays here, he reasons that eventually it will subside, eventually it has to subside, eventually the come down will pass, maybe if he's lucky in between that time, he'll fall asleep._

_His mouth feels so dry. His head is spinning._

_He curses himself. How could he be so fucking stupid? He didn't even question what he was taking? /Everybody does it, can it really be worse than anything I've done before?/ he had told himself, an attempt to ease the guilt. He regretted it all now._

_He has no idea how long he's been lying here. He thinks he can see the sky lightening outside, the sun coming up. /someone please fucking help me/ he begs._

_He's relaxing now, his heart is slowing, his breathing is steady, his body relaxes, his muscles ache from being tense for so long. How long bad he been like that? It felt like days but it could only have been hours. The room stands still. The high or rather the low, the comedown subsidies finally._

_He manages to sit up. There's a glass of water next to the couch. He breathes in and out. His feet find the floor. They feel steady at least._

 

☾

 

_Although she did technically agree to go, Scully had dreaded the party all afternoon, on the way there and when she had arrived and even during for a while. It was a causal party so she was in comfortable clothing, and as promised Kitt did stay with her a lot of the time._

_In the end she had enjoyed the party. For one reason in particular, she had met Mike._

_Mike was a tall guy, he must have been over six foot. He had come over to her as she stood chatting with Kitt and some other people Kitt knew. When she first saw him approach her she felt her body tense, she didn't not want a repeat of the incident at the club._

_Instead he had walked over confidently but gently, he smiled as he approached her._

_'Hey' he said with a soft voice. 'I'm really sorry, just, I saw you standing over here and just you're really pretty and I was wondering if maybe you'd like to talk?' He seemed a little shy, he didn't look like the type of guy who would be shy talking to girls._

_Dana moved a strand of hair behind her ear, 'sure' she smiled. He's charming, brown hair dangles over his brows, friendly green eyes._

_'What's your name?' He asks._

_'Dana' she smiles,_

_'Nice to meet you Dana, I'm Mike' he gives her a big grin. Shakes her hand._

_He talks to her for a while, he makes her laugh, she feels more comfortable than she has interacting with people for a long time. She's having fun._

_And so she finds herself the following day, sat in a cafe, not the same one she works in thank god, having a cup of tea with Mike. The day, or dare she call it, date, is going well she's enjoying herself and she hasn't smiled this long in forever._

_'So you're religious?' He asks._

_'Umm, yeah' she nods, 'how did you know?'_

_He laughs, 'well the uniform for a start, I'd recognise that uniform anywhere, my sister Tilly goes to the same college' Dana smiles, even more relaxed. 'And I saw your cross, your necklace'_

_'Oh yeah' she says, subconsciously picking up the cross pendant on the end of the gold chain that's tied around her neck, she strokes it between her thumb and finger._

_The date goes on, and Dana decides it's probably time she should head back home._

_'I should probably get back home soon, I've got so much homework' she sighs, Mike nods._

_'Can I see you again?' She can barley contain her glee, 'most definitely'_

_'I've got your number so expect to hear from me'_

_'I'm gonna hold you to that' she laughs and it makes him smile._

_'I trust you'_

 

☾

 

_'You got a second date' Kitt shouts and Dana shushes her,_

_'The whole cafe doesn't need to know Kitt' she laughs,_

_'That Dana Scully actually has a boyfriend?, umm yes they do' she says sipping strawberry milkshake through a straw._

_'I **don't** have a boyfriend, it's just a second date' Scully corrects,_

_'Okay, okay whatever you say'_

_The bell above the door rings and both girls hear the energetic sound of Enzo, the cheery Italian man who owns the shop saying 'welcome'_

_They turn to the door and see the familiar figure shuffle over to the counter to be served by a smiling Enzo. It's fox. He looks like, well to be quite frank he looks like shit. He's got black circles under his eyes, he looks like he hasn't slept in a week. His brown hair is a mess underneath a baseball cap._

_'Woah' Kitt says, once again sipping from her straw._

_'I wonder what happened to him?' Scully asks rhetorically, she feels her self fill with genuine concern._

_'Fox' Kitt shouts, waving the tall boy over. He looks towards them and begins making his way over to their table._

_'What are you doing?' Scully mouths, 'he's a dick remember?' She says easing both eyebrows._

_'I know but I kinda like him, plus he's rocking the undead look'_

_He's there now, and they both look up at him. He looks even worse up close._

_'Hey' he says without an enthusiasm whatsoever. He looks at Scully, she swears she sees him smile before his face drops back down into a frown._

_'You okay? You don't look so good' Kitt asks._

_'Oh, yeah yeah I'm fine, just not been sleeping well' he fakes. 'Well I better get going, I gotta tone of work I should be doing, I'll see you guys later'_

_And with that he leaves them sat their with their drinks. Scully frowns._

_Something is definitely up with that boy._


	9. C H A P T E R  E I G H T:

_Apparently a lot can happen in three weeks,_

 

_The next few weeks pass by in a dazed blur for Fox Mulder. He does the things he does without really knowing why he does them._

_After the come down of his high, he had promised himself he would never touch that stuff again, he would never do anything like that again. There was just too much at stake, too much of a risk. He never wanted to feel like that again._

_Yet, somehow come that following Saturday he found himself at yet another party, taking more of the same substance._

_'Where do you buy this stuff?' He asked the boy who had given it him in the first place._

_'I can sell you some if you want, discounted, mates rates and all.'_

_Mulder agreed. The high of this substance was too much to pass up, it was a get away from the stress of uni, he felts less homesick, and there was this childlike giddiness it gave him too. Sure the come down was a feeling of completely despair, like he was just inches away from death, but the more he did it, the less frightening it became and the more euphoric it seemed. He had found nirvana in a couple of little white pills._

_He was by no means addicted, no it hadn't been long enough for that yet, it was a choice, his choice, as a consenting adult. He new what he was doing every time, he new the consequences. He told himself there was nothing wrong. The substances helped him finish work on time. It was simply a positive._

_So he went on as normal, just living his life, attending his classes, doing his work, going to parties. Just normal teenage things. No one has noticed, well no one had said anything if they had noticed at least._

_He's in a lecture. Something about the minds of serial killers, he'd be interested at any other time, but his heads some place else, somewhere far away, from lecture halls and serial killers._

 

☾

 

_Life is going great for Dana Scully. She's getting top marks in college, she has a hot boyfriend and she hasn't seen stupid Fox Mulder in weeks, though for some reason, this worries her, she doesn't know why._

_He used to come to the cafe at the very least once a day, but he's not been in weeks. She doesn't know why, but she's saddened by this, the fact he's moved on, found somewhere else, she feels cheated. It's almost as though she misses him, she shakes her head at the thought._

_It's four pm on a Friday, her shift finishes in half an hour, then it's straight home to shower, change and get ready for a date with Mike. She's excited._

_And so as expected, in her giddy state, the next half hour flies by. There are a couple of customers who come for take out orders, but that's it mostly. And within no time it's four thirty._

_Scully grabs her bag from the staff room in the back of the shop, hanging up her white apron as she does so._

_'Enzo' she calls, 'I'm off, see you tomorrow'_

_'Goodbye Dana' the cheerful Italian calls back._

_She leaves the shop. Suddenly out of nowhere, just as she steps foot out of the door, she is very nearly knocked to the ground by an unknown heavy force._

_She looks up._

_She bites her lip._

_/Seriously you couldn't make this shit up/_

_He's stood there. Picking up her bag which has been knocked to the floor. Running a hand awkwardly through his messy brown hair._

_'I'm so sorry' He stutters, it's genuine._

_'It's fine' she says abruptly. It doesn't take Einstein to figure out something is wrong. She's scowling at him. /what the fuck?/_

_'Long time no see' He laughs, awkwardly._

_'Where the hell have you been?' She spits. He jolts back, in confusion._

_'What?' Is all he can think to say, because honestly what can you say when a girl, who's name you don't even know, is shouting at you in the middle of the street, asking you where you've been, like you've been married to her for ten years and have just disappeared of the face of the planet for six months._

_'I've been busy' He says, scowling 'Sorry mum'_

_'Piss off' Dana spits_ _._

_'Woah, okay' Mulder says, hands held up in the air, arms behind his head._

_'I'm sorry.' She says, for the first time actually realising the way she just reacted. /Like what the hell?/ she asks herself._

_'I'm sorry?' He says, lifting an eyebrow._

_'I don't know what's got into me' She shakes her head. 'Anyway, I'm sorry but I've really got to go'_

_She's started off down the street, before he even has a chance to say goodbye._

_'She's weird' he says, aloud to no one but himself._

_He smiles, watching as she turns the corner at the end of the street._

 

☾

 

_She doesn't know how longs she's been sat in the bath but it has to have been a while,_

_'Hurry the fuck up Dana. I need to piss' Comes Kitt's voice from the other side of the door._

_Dana laughs. 'Okay, okay, one second'_

_And so she gets out, wrapping a towel around her, making sure she's covered, picking up her things from the floor. She unlocks the door. As she opens it, Dana is greeted by a cross legged Kitt, bouncing up and down._

_'Finally' she says, pushing past Scully and into the bathroom._

_Dana takes her time getting ready, she's got plenty of it, she likes taking her time. Makeup is fun, she learnt a long time ago and she likes playing around with it._

_She's almost ready now and looks at her phone to check the time. It's 7am. Mike is picking her up in fifteen minutes. Luckily she's almost done, she just needs to pick shoes._

_'Kitt' Dana shouts into the hallway,_

_'Yah?' Kitt replies, poking her head around the living room door._

_'Which shoes?'_

_The other girl thinks for a moment, 'hmm,,, the black lace up ones'_

_Dana nods, 'got it. Thanks'_

 

_It's freezing outside. She's waiting on the street. She cannot, by all means, absolutely cannot let Mike meet Kitt, no not yet. In terms of embarrassing Dana, Kitt is like a mother, but worse. So rather than face that humiliation, just yet, she'll risk the cold and wait on the curb._

_It's seven twenty. He's late. She's not to bothered._

_Within another couple of minutes Mike is pulling up to the curb in a beaten down blue Ford Focus._

_Dana smiles._

_Mike gets out. He makes his way around to the passenger side of the car. Opening the passenger door, he gestures with a hand for Dana to get in. 'M'lady' he smiles._

_'Never' she says, 'I repeat, never use that phrase ever again'_

_'Noted'_

_She laughs as she climbs into the car._

_The car is warm and so is his smile._


	10. C H A P T E R  N I N E;

_Can't you see the way you look at one another,_

 

 

_The restaurant is beautiful. Scully cannot believe it. The walls are painted in rich red and gold colours, a huge mural painting occupies the ceiling, with a huge glass chandelier. In the very centre of the huge dining area is a beautiful stain glass skylight._

_The restaurant is the stuff from fairy tales. Dana looks around at the other diners. They're older people, everyone is dressed fancy, and even though she has put a lot of effort in she still feels largely underdressed. She's been in awe since she got here, she's fallen in love with the place._

_She can't stop herself from saying thank you every five minute, or things like 'seriously this is far too much'_

_'Mike, honestly, this is far too much' She had said as they entered, and a thousand times more since then._

_'Nonsense' had been his reply, 'anything for my girl' And that had made her grin from ear to ear, given her butterflies in her stomach. She feels so special, like a Disney princess or something akin to that._

_The meal is nice. The date is going as well as ever. Dana is trying so hard to ignore the guilt in her stomach. She really wishes Mike wouldn't have gone to all this trouble, she would have been okay going to McDonalds or something for god-sake. And that's the only con, she decides, he tries **too hard.**_

_But she smiles. And she's thankful. She's the luckiest girl in the world, she keeps telling herself. Any girl would kill for this._

_**This is what I want.** _

 

 

☾

 

 

_Fox Mulder is drunk, really, really drunk. He ambles through the streets of London, wobbling slightly from side to side as he does so. He gives a cheerful hello to every stranger he passes, some smile back, some hurry past him._

_He can't rid the taste of stale beer from his mouth and he really just wants to throw up._

_He can hear his father in his head, 'seriously Fox. You are making a fool of yourself, you are an embarrassment.' He shrugs. **Sorry mum.**_

_Non of the bars will take him, he's in far too much of a state already, and it's only 11pm. **Lightweight**. He's already had a fight in one bar. So now sporting a busted lip and what is sure to be a black eye the following morning, he decides to give up and go home. **There's plenty of other times to be a reckless student** , he decides. _

_But which way is home?_

_He has no idea. He decides to head, in the direction that he thinks is north. He just hopes for the best._

_He walks for about ten minutes, when he finds himself on one of the much busier streets. It's familiar. At least he thinks so. The lights are bright, the sounds of the city, the cars, the people, are all amplified in his drunken state. He is aware of a headache coming on. There's a ringing in his ears._

_He sees her coming out of a restaurant, even from a mile away. She looks beautiful dressed up like that. Stunning. Her red hair is so vibrant, mixing in with the colours of the night life. For a second he thought it was some drunken apparition. She's laughing and smiling. He stops and stares, without really knowing what he's doing. He finds himself smiling too._

_Before he's aware of it, his feet are dragging him towards her._

_She's twenty paces from him now,_

_Ten,_

_**Stop** , he is practically screaming inside his head. _

_At five he comes to a halt._

_She's with a boy. He's making her laugh. He kisses her cheek. Suddenly he feels rather sick and he has no idea why._

_He starts towards them. In his head he's shouting stop, what the fuck are you doing. Turn around. But still he continues towards them._

_Two paces and she spots him._

_'You again?' He thinks he hears a hint of glee to her tone. He hopes. Maybe that's just the booze._

_'Me again' he says, confidently and with a smile. He's happy to see her._

_The boy she's with begins eyeing Mulder up and down._

_'Mike' he says, extending an arm. He's created a sort of barrier between Mulder and Scully. Fox frowns._

_'Fox' Says Mulder._

_'If you don't mind, uh, Fox. I'd like to get my girlfriend home'_

_He's about to say, sure no problem, okay, have a nice night. But before he has the chance, Coffee shop girl interjects._

_'Do you want a lift home Fox?' She says, checking out the boy before her, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out he's clearly way past drunk. 'I'm sure Mike wouldnt mind. It's on the way to mine anyway isn't it?'_

_She guesses this by the fact he must be staying in uni accommodation._

_'Oh no, no I couldn't' Mulder says, catching the look Mr generic is giving him._

_'It's no bother, right Mike?' The redhead says again, looking up at Mike. The way she looks at him makes Mulder ache and he doesn't know why. He doesn't like it._

_'Course not' Mike says, through gritted teeth, clearly it is, Mulder fathoms._

_'Oh, well okay then. Thank you' And it's sincerity in his voice. He smiles weekly at the girl, and she smiles back._

_The ride home is awkward, to say the least. No one says a word to one an other. It's dead silence. Mike hasn't even put the radio on._

_/he's one of those guys/ Mulder thinks to himself._

_'Here's fine' Mulder says, as the approach the street which harbours the row of shops, including the familiar cafè. 'And honestly thanks again'_

_'Don't mention it' Mike says, without even bothering to look at him._

_He slides out of the back seat, out into the chilly night air. 'See ya 'round, coffee shop girl' he says slamming the door behind him._

_This makes her smile. 'See you around' And with that, Fox Mulder watches as the car pulls off, leaving him behind, leaving him alone. He sighs. His chest heavy. He waits a couple of minutes before turning and heading in the direction of home._

 

 

☾

 

 

_It's three in the morning and Dana Scully is still awake. She's laying in bed staring blankly up at the cracked ceiling. Staring into space, she is lost in her own thoughts._

_She's thinking of him. His messy brown hair, they way it sometimes hangs over his tiny eyes. She's thinking about his smile, the plumpness of his soft pink bottom lip. His voice, the American twang._

_She remembers his face when he was saying goodbye. His lips turned up into a smile. A gentle wave of his hand. She has not stopped thinking about, about him since. She had not stopped thinking about him as the car had pulled away, or as it chugged another couple of minutes down the street, she had not stopped thinking about him as Mike had pulled up to the curb outside the decaying block of flats, she had not stopped thinking about him as Mikes lips crashed against hers as he kissed her goodbye. She had not stopped thinking about him as she had climbed the many stairs to her front door, or as she unlocked the door, struggling to put the key in the keyhole. She had not stopped thinking about him as she changed into her pyjamas. She had not stopped thinking about him as she climbed into bed, clutching the blankets tightly to her chest._

_She had not stopped thinking about him._

_She was thinking of him still as she finally slid into a state of sleep._


End file.
